We're like a lot better than the average bears
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Randomize
