i already hear my dad disowning me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
