Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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