So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
