Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
