I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
