jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
