I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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