Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
