I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I FOUND THE LEGS
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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