Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
