So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
