walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
