Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
