margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
