Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
