I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
