Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
