Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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