I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
