dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize