How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
