Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
