spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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