I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
