and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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