If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
