how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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