can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
