This dress was meant to end up on your floor
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
