My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
