i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
