Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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