Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
