He kissed a someone with a penis
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
