Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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