Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think I won the penis lottery.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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