so that wasnt chicken after all
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
