my phone needs a breathalizer
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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