Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
