careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
