This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
