He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
