I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
