Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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