Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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