About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
