Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
