I must be too annoying 4 u.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
