He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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