Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
