"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
